A Note from my Body (via C.Jane)

I read a beautiful post on C. Jane's blog yesterday. Have you met her yet? I was hit with kind of an 'aha!' moment- or not really an aha, but more of a 'totally!'.
   Here is an excerpt of what she wrote, but you really should just read the whole thing here. I'm just sharing my favorite bits.

She talks about going on an early morning walk and reaching the top of a hill with a view of the valley.


I stopped and listened to the drumming of heartbeats in my ears.
That's when my body started talking to me.

You've got to trust me.

When I am hungry I will tell you.
You'll hear it in chambered echos, grumbles and moans.
DON'T FEED ME, until you hear my call.
[...]When I am anxious I will tell you.
Your heart will beat fast, your breath will struggle to leave the lungs, and you might feel full of fire.
DON'T FEED ME, instead sit down and fight for those breaths, let the oxygen pour into you--clearing the veins and vessels, close your eyes, identify the fear that is squeezing you.

When I feel depressed I will tell you.
There will be a significant lack of energy, a slumpy reaction to bed-leaving, my mind will slow down and thoughts will become like black puffy clouds.
DON'T FEED ME, instead fill your head back up with new thoughts, ideas from books and discussions. Replace the dirty fuel in your mind with clean energy.

When I feel stressed I will tell you.
Like rubberbands squeezing around your cranium, your head throbbing, your stomach turning, your muscles tightening.
DON'T FEED ME, instead write it all out, everything you are feeling, look over the list and examine.
[...]When I need exercise I will tell you.
Your legs will ache to be walked, your back will beg to be stretched, your heart will ask to be throbbed.
DON'T FEED ME, walk me. And don't exercise me until I say so, please, or we will battle.

When I feel lazy, content, competitive, peaceful, overwhelmed, snippy, snappy, hot, cold, tired, frustrated, thirsty, full, beaming and bright I will tell you.
DON'T FEED ME, none of these sentiments require food. Excess surplus will have to be stored. I will have to makemore of us--human shelves in rolls and lumps--to organize the overflow intake. Don't make me do that, please. There are babies to feed, children to squeeze, a husband to kiss. Right now, we don't have a lot of steam to become a storage facility as well.

But when I feel hungry I will send you a message of emptiness of stomach, dizziness of head, a sensation in your mouth extending into your throat that reads, I NEED FOOD, PLEASE DON'T STARVE ME.
Then, feed me.

Isn't that lovely? My eyes widened as I read the truths of what our bodies try to tell us. And when I read about our bodies not wanting to make more of us, make us into a storage facility- well, I pursed my lips and sighed and found myself nodding. Did you?

Lately I've been trying to come to a spiritual understanding of what it means to take care of my body. To choose wisely what I give it for energy and also what I give it for pleasure. To follow the Word of Wisdom in what I interpret as wholesome, back-to-nature foods and sensible choices.

And, of course, as it is the end of the term and I am feeling overworked and sluggish and taken advantage of (*rant on students and late work being kept to myself, mostly), I recognize my urge to stop by McDonald's on the way home for a treat and an excuse to show myself a little appreciation.

I don't spend money on myself. I don't buy myself nice things. I don't eat out without my husband because it feels like taking our money for myself. I don't take time for myself to do nothing or better yet something I take great pleasure in because I don't get everything done in a day as it is. If the work isn't done (and it NEVER will be) how can I play? (note: this doesn't mean i work all the time, by any means. i guess i just end up wasting time because i need a break but feel like i don't deserve to do something truly fun???)

So a Startling truth for myself, from my body:

When you feel overworked and under appreciated,
when your head aches and your eyes burn and your shoulders are burdened by responsibility,
DON'T FEED ME! Instead, give yourself some time. Time to appreciate something you love, to appreciate yourself, to relax and unburden. Reward yourself with time.